Laito rox L sux lulz!
by Konoha's Kage
Summary: lyke srusly. omg r&r plz! summries suk, betr then seemz!11 my 56th fic, no flame!1 Oh my god, it was painful to type like that. How do you people do it? I keep pressing the back button as an instinct when I tried to force myself to type that!


Inspiration: I was reading this one list about how 'yaoi is bad wawawa' that got flamed to the point where the story had to be deleted because it was insulting or whatnot. At the time I was pretty mad about how L's popularity is a lot higher than Light's. I can see why, but I was still grumpy about it. I like L, but I like Light more. Yeah, I'm one of the weirder ones.

So I decided to rant about how Light's awesome, L's not (Wah, I'm sorry, I don't mean that L! Please don't hate me!), and on top of THAT make it a list (which is against the rules, I think) and see what kind of response I'd get. (Probably something along the lines of "if you know it's against the rules, why post this?")

Why Light's better than L

**1. ** Anybody can make cherry stems and strawberries hot. You just gotta move your lips right and make your eyes big enough and sit like a cute little pet. Light makes APPLES and POTATO CHIPS hot. He like conjures glitter and overwhelming music whenever he eats.

**2.** I looked up YagamiLight in anagrammer and I did not get Imagay, just in case you were wondering (Hate that joke, by the way. Maybe I'm too critical, but that would mean Light's dad was gay, and when his dad marries a WOMAN, Sachiko would be gay, and so would Sayu. Plus people forget to add the Light in there. So it's "I'm a gay light." I love yaoi, but this should just be crossed of the list of hints to Light's sexuality. It means Night Lord or something right? C'mon! It's an awesome name!). The biggest word anagrammer supplied me was "ALMIGHTY." Isn't that just beautiful? Seriously. Then, I looked up LLawliet and his best word was... "WALLET."

**3**. He's got sense of humor. How many times have you seen Light laughing in the anime? How many times have you seen L laughing in the anime?

**4.** He makes people laugh! How many people laughed when Light died? How many people laughed when L died? EXACTLY. (I laughed and cried. It was horrible!)

**5.** He's an optimist! Example:

_Light: _Aw, come on, Ryuuzaki, cheer up. We'll catch Kira!

_L:_ Ah, no I'm too depressed. You gonna eat that cake?

(Nevermind that Light starts punching L and screaming about how L kept him prisoner and then pretended to execute him and crap. You know, I'd be pissed, too!)

Episode 18, in the anime, I believe. I think there was also a part where Light was talking to Ryuk and he was all "Didn't you know, Ryuk? I'm an optimist!" But I might have been dreaming cause I don't know where I got that.

**6.** He's a all-do-gooder. He cares about the world and likes to purify things of filth! Really, a man after God's own heart. Whereas with L, we're not even sure he showers more than once a week.

**7.** More of rant-type-thing than a reason. But I enjoyed seeing Light more than L because most of the series followed Light's point of view. You know more stuff about him, his family, past, whatnot. Throughout the series, you can sort of see his mentality go from innocent to BWAHAHA.

With L, while he's most definitely a unique character... I don't know, he's just boring to me. We would expect a guy like him to have no parents, right? And you don't really know anything about what he's thinking. I guess that was the whole "dark and mysterious" contrasting with the "huggable and cherry-stem-tying cute" aspect that was such a plus for him... but it kind of annoyed me. Imagine Death Note in L's PoV. There'd be nothing, because L doesn't like to share! I don't know, that was a crappy explanation, that'll probably get shot to hell. I don't really get my reasoning with this one. Probably the parts where I enjoyed L the most was when he was around Misa, and he's jumping and dancing though not very animatedly. And maybe when he fell sideways on his ass when he heard about Shinigami.

But I didn't enjoy those nearly as much as Light's famous laugh or the "I've never been so humiliated in my life OMFG!" Moment or the director's cut where Light's on top of L's grave with the sunset in the background and he manages to look disgusting and attractive at the same time. Maybe it was the lighting.(Ahem)

...

Which makes me remember that one director's cut thing where L's like THAT close to Light during the movie theater and Light's all, "It'd be suspicious if I reacted to a man two inches away from my face... wait, that's not right... but if I push him away, I'm Kira! I think... I'll just sit here looking pretty in my red suit." Way off topic. Sorry.

**8.** I have a sneaking suspicion L shaves his eyebrows. I mean I looked at his full body picture in Death Note: How To Read 13, and he had eyebrows. Then I went to onemanga dot com and checked again. Chapter 11 page two. EYEBROWS! When did he lose them? Maybe it's just the L-version of balding. Everything else about him is different, why not that?

**9.** In the anime, Light makes the camera shake when he's playing "swordfight" with his pen. SLASH, OPERA MUSIC, EARTHQUAKE, REPEAT! You gotta love. You just gotta.

**10.** And this is my main reason: Light's more fun to play with in fanfics. Seriously, you could do a whole buncha things to Light that you wouldn't do to L.

Examples:

Can you make L cut himself? NO. But with Light you can! If you do that with L you're invincible or something.

You can rape Light with just about anyone, be it some random guy off the street or some high-up political jerk, but you can't rape L like that! The only people L could get raped by is Light himself or probably Watari. But that's just wrong. Moving on. Ew. Why did I even go there?

You can write an AU where Light's a stripper. I haven't read one yet, but I bet it's possible! (No, please don't point me in the direction of one. I need to protect what little innocence I have left.) Can you make L a stripper? You wouldn't dare. (Again. Don't direct me to one.)

It's easier to make Light cry/scream. While it's also possible with L, it's not so easy.

Overall, it's easier to torture Light than L.

Really, I'm not this sadistic in real life.

**Finishing note:** I really DO like L. I just like Light better. I'm not really looking forward to reviews telling me that in Volume X Chapter XX Page XXX at the bottom X inches to the left is a picture of L with eyebrows, and to suck that, you L-hating bitch. I just wanna see how far I can go. Will this "story" get reported to hell and back? Will it burn in the flames of the demons who are to L what Mikami is to Light? Will it get positive reviews like the author is hoping, though she doubts it? Will I get over Erik from the Phantom of the Opera dying? Will I stop making stupid, disturbing, and immature cracks about Dumbledore and Harry Potter spending a little too much time in the same office; especially after that hilarious interview? Time will only tell.

**'Nother finishing note: **Sorry. Sorry sorrysorry. What is with me and these stupid fics? I haven't updated anything in a year. I should just pretend they don't exist and cower away from the death glares you may or may not be giving me. I'm halfway done with the next thing for UyIS (I started that story when I was 12, and now I'm 14! Crazy!) , and... heh... barely anything for BaB... I've got an LxLight fic bouncing around in here and an actual nonfanfiction story that keeps turning on and off. Maybe I'm afraid of comittment.

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